Ordinary People

Living in the ‘burbs as I do, the only wildlife I tend to see is dead opossums–and an occasional live one–gators, raccoons, every so often a deer or two, armadillos (which I had no idea lived in Florida until I moved here), and a striking pair of bald eagles that live in the neighborhood and like to enjoy the view from the cell tower across the street.

But yesterday was an extraordinary day. I got to see this guy in our church parking lot–which is right across the street from my house.

He (or she, I have no idea how to tell the difference) is a barred owl. He stared directly at me as I slowly approached close enough to get a decent picture with my iPhone. Thank goodness for the zoom feature.

And though I didn’t get to see them, David said he saw a big ol’ mama wild boar and four or five boar-lets straggling along behind her, and then he saw an otter, all before he left the property at his office.

I have a birdbath in my yard that has only been visited once by one lonely mourning dove. And I had a bird feeder that the squirrels enjoyed.

An occasional bunny, red-tailed hawks, cardinals, mockingbirds, crows, wood storks, egrets, ducks. All pretty normal stuff.

But, as I was reminded by a very astute first grader yesterday, Joan of Arc and Martin Luther were just ordinary people that God chose to use in extraordinary ways. They had courage, faith and a desire to please God, but they weren’t born to privilege.

The occasional sighting of an extraordinary animal makes my day. The everyday sighting of ordinary people who could do extraordinary things for God makes His day as well.

“Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom He promised those who love him?” (James 2:5 NIV)

Thankful today for:
66. Cool owls
67. Music
68. My eldest being able to get himself off to school at 6:30 a.m.

Be Patient, God’s Not Finished With Me Yet

It’s ironic to think that only when we die are we done. None of us reach perfection while we’re here on earth. The best we can hope for is strong character and what Peter talked about in his second letter: “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins” (2 Peter 1:5-9, New International Version).

I know I expect more out of my kids. They say to me, “You probably argued with your brother and sisters when you were a kid.” “You probably didn’t clean your room when you were a kid.”

Frankly, I have very little memory of my early interaction with my siblings, but I can’t really picture a dirty room in my head. I don’t remember being at odds with my brother and sisters much of the time. But even if I did experience those things, I didn’t have the power of the Holy Spirit helping me. My kids do.

How often do I tell them, “Treat others the way you want to be treated”? How frequently do I remind them, “They will know we are Christians by our love, one for another”? How many times do I say, “Do not repay evil for evil, but repay evil with good”? In one ear, out the other. That’s what it feels like.

So, I pray maturity comes before permanent damage is done. And I try to remember the grace God gives me on a daily basis as He refrains from reminding me to be patient, to not judge others, do be generous and open-hearted.

I’m not in such great shape myself. And so we can all benefit by wearing a button that says, “Be patient; God isn’t finished with me yet.”

Thankful today for:

63, the life of Martin Luther

64. my back porch

65. pink roses

No Fear

For years and years I have struggled with anxiety. Before I became a follower of Jesus, I didn’t know what to do about it. I would feel sick to my stomach and have terrible heart palpitations. 

 

Since then, though, I would be frustrated that I didn’t feel instant peace when I prayed for it. Then 

I learned a great secret: focus on God, not my situation. The advent of the iPod helped me tremendously as I created a playlist of songs that glorified God and helped me focus on who He is. Anytime I felt anxious, I would plug in that playlist and rest in the arms of my Savior.

Now, if I think I’m in a situation that might be anxiety producing, I am proactive, and start the music even before I feel the anxiety. And guess what? The instances of anxiety have greatly lessened.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.The one who fears is not made perfect in love” 1 John 4:18.

Perfect love, perfectly at peace. Ahhhhhhh.

Thankful today for:

I’ve been told that I already said what 59 was yesterday, so I’ll change it here:

59. candles

60. rain

61. horses

62. a night at home after a busy day

Matters of the Heart

I have heart issues. It used to totally freak me out, but the more often it happens, and the more that tests show there doesn’t appear to be anything wrong, the less it disturbs me. But still, it is my heart, so I can’t help but be a little uneasy.

It used to be very infrequent, but ever since I fully entered that wonderful world known as menopause, it’s pretty much been routine when hormones surge.

It happened last night. I woke up at 3:25 a.m. with my heart out of rhythm. It would take a few normal beats, but then it would quiver and jump and beat erratically. This went on for about 45 minutes, which is a relatively short time comparatively. Usually I can fall asleep, and by the time I wake up again, it’s back to normal.

Last night I had trouble falling asleep. I kept thinking, I have to be up at 6 a.m. to sing with the worship team. I’ve got to be able to
sleep!

Heart issues. They’re disconcerting when they’re physical; would that they would keep us awake at night if they were issues of our spiritual heart.

God, break my heart with the things that break Yours.

Amen.

Thankful today for:

57. The ability to sing
58. Clean water
59. Church potlucks

Chill Out

If only I could relax like my cat:

Somebody feeds me,

I get to just hang out in the sun,

I’m always up for a belly rub,

I get manicures,

And I totally, and I mean totally know how to chill out.

I love my cat.

Thankful today for:
54. Wonderful, wise older women
55. Date nights with my daughter
56. Giggles

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

re·spect  [ri-spekt]

noun

1. a particular, detail, or point (usually preceded by in ): to differ in some respect.

2. relation or reference: inquiries with respect to a route.

3. esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality orability: I have great respect for her judgment.

4. deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment: respect for a suspect’s right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly.

5. the condition of being esteemed or honored: to be held in respect.

Several years ago, my sister gave me a book titled Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. Its truths are simple, yet profound. If I, as a wife, respect my husband, then he will, in turn, be more prone to love me. And the opposite is true: if I feel loved by my husband, then I am more likely to show him respect. The question is: With whom does it start? The answer? Me.

OK. So, you might ask, how do I show respect? A friend of mine shared the other day one of the ways she does it: When her husband mentions something that he’d like to do, like watch Christmas movies together as a family, she doesn’t then come up with 10 logistical reasons why that might not work. She makes it work. It’s the little things that make him realize that his opinions are valued, and what he wants counts.

The other day, my husband told me that he wanted to get rid of all the different-sized plastic plates that we have in our cabinets. They don’t all fit nicely together in the dishwasher, and it bothered him. I could have easily just blown that off and not acted on it, knowing that he wouldn’t make a big deal about it. But how hard was it for me to go to our cupboard, pull out the mismatched plastic, leaving the nicer, matching melamine bowls and plates, and put some in the giveaway bag and some in the camping box? While I was at it, I got rid of a bunch of plastic cups we really don’t need to use anymore also.

Such a little thing; such a big statement.

What if you have a free Saturday and your husband wants to go on a bike ride, but you really just wanted to stay in and watch a movie? How about saying, “Sure, we can go on a bike ride. And do you think after that we might be able to fit in a movie?” How much more willing and happy is he to do what you want to do, when  you have so happily and willingly done what he wants to do also?

I’m not a marriage expert, but I’ve been married 20 years and 359 days, so I think I have gained a little bit of insight in that time. My husband’s a strong man, but he’s also a little boy who’s just looking for approval. It is within my power to provide that approval. I can scoff at his suggestions, or I can see what I can do about making it happen. I’m looking for the little things now, every day.

He is worthy of respect, and I am privileged to give it to him.

It’s easy to say, if your marriage is happy and healthy. What if you haven’t felt loved by your husband in a long time? I would challenge you to start showing him respect in the small ways. See what happens. The movie “Fireproof” included in it something called the “Love Dare.” That dare was to do something out of the ordinary and nice for your spouse every day for 40 days. In the same way, whether you feel like it or not, whether your spouse responds appropriately or not, take 40 days and do something that shows respect. Husbands, do something that shows love. (And, by the way, speak HER love language, not your own. See Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages if you need some help.)

It’ll make a big difference if you stick to it. I have a great marriage, but I’m going to take that dare myself anyway. I’ll let you know how it goes.

I’d love to hear how it goes for you, too.

Thankful today for:

I missed yesterday, so I’ll start with

48. a warm breeze blowing through my house

49. the weekend

50. Bunco with the girls tonight

51. the sound of windchimes

52. health

53. my bread maker, which is going to be put into use soon

Words Like Toothpaste

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29 NIV).

Have you ever tried to put toothpaste back in its tube? It’s not an easy task. Some might even find it impossible.

Harsh or cruel words are like that: once said, you can’t take them back. They are forever burned into the mind of
the hearer.

A child, once told by an unkind teacher that he is dumb, will keep those words in mind unless many, many more come along to say the opposite. I believe they call that a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Remember that old rhyme? “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Baloney! Words are extremely painful and destructive.

I hear the words in my classroom: It’s too hard! I can’t do it! I’m not as smart as everyone else!

Where do those thoughts come from? I know I haven’t told them that. And I personally know their 1st grade and kindergarten teachers, and I know they didn’t tell them that.

Who knows. It could have been some careless passing comment from a classmate or friend; but it’s the one that stuck.

I remember negative comments from very early in my life, but I can’t always draw upon the positive.

“The soothing tongue is a tree of life,
but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:4 NIV).

Words, like toothpaste, can do a lot of good. But squeezed out carelessly, they just make a big mess. And they can never be taken back.

New Members of Our Menagerie

Yesterday, Morgan and I added two more members to our family: hermit crabs! Morgan had expressed an interest in getting one, and would be paying with her own money, so I agreed (Dad simply acquiesced). I put it out on Facebook for a crabitat and a friend came through with a 10-gallon aquarium, food, extra shells and a lot of good advice. She has 8 of the little guys herself. So with the purchase of sand, we were in business to buy crabs.

So yesterday afternoon, we all (minus Dad and Grandma) trooped down to our local Petland and, after a detour to pet puppies, Morgan acquired a crab (and I had to get one, too, just so the poor little guy wouldn’t be alone. “Hermit” is a misnomer, don’t you know.)

Morgan with "Charlotte" and "Titan"

So now we’re a family of Grandma, Mom and Dad, two brothers, one sister, one dog, one cat, 8 fish and 2 Ecuadorian hermit crabs.

Taking care of animals seems like it might be an easy task, but taking care of them properly is quite another proposition. That’s why I’m so glad to have people to whom I can direct questions. My friend Tiffaney is my fish expert. She’s helped me many times as I tried to get our fish tank in order. Check the water chemistry. Don’t put too many fish in the tank. Don’t feed them too much. Don’t buy them from a big box store.

Now Robin is our hermit crab whisperer. She directed me to websites and is always willing to answer any question. Keep the humidity between 70 and 80%. Feed them people food from an approved list. They don’t like to be alone, so get them a companion.

People who know what they’re talking about are very helpful and should be listend to.

This is Berkeley (on the right) with his favorite neighborhood friend, Sebastian

We have friends who recently adopted a yellow lab puppy. I have gladly and willingly shared my experience with them as we have already navigated the waters of dog ownership–and big dog ownership at that. Use treats to teach. Let her know who’s in charge. Get her socialized as soon as you can. We’re anxiously awaiting the day Berkeley and Zoey get to meet.

That’s what Paul was telling Timothy in his second letter: “And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.”

Learning ourselves, and then teaching others. That’s a beautiful thing.

And let's not forget Oreo in all this

And the fish

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thankful today for:
45. chocolate and peanut butter

46. a soft kitty

47. new pets

Time in a Bottle

There’s an old Jim Croce song that says “If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I’d like to do, is save everyday like a treasure and then, again, I would spend them with you.”

And then there’s the Steve Miller Band and their philosophical words: “Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future.”

Or what about Chicago? “Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?”

Those were just three songs that immediately came to mind when I thought about time. Showing my age a bit, aren’t I?

How many times do you hear people complain that they don’t have enough time to do the things they want to/need to/have to? Seems to me that God gave us 24 hours in a day for a reason. If He had wanted us to have more time, He’d have given it to us.

I’m thinking He gave us the perfect amount of time. A friend of mine reiterated that same thought a couple of weekends ago in a talk she gave to the group of moms from Trace Academy. Do we only have a certain amount of hours in our school day? That’s the perfect amount of time.

If we feel rushed, that’s not God’s fault. “I need more time!” falls on deaf ears. You have all the time you need–how you’re using it just may be the problem.

My dad died almost six years ago. My kids were 9, 7 and 3 at the time. He didn’t spend spend hardly any time with them at all. That wasn’t just a matter of distance, it was a matter of choice. My mom would say, “Your dad’s not into little kids. When they get older he’ll enjoy them more.”

Well, guess what? He didn’t live long enough to enjoy them, and he robbed my kids of their grandpa. (Do you think I still have issues to work through?)

Kids are only kids for a short time. People will only be with us a given number of days, and we aren’t told what that number is. I am guilty of putting my responsibilities before my relationships often. I don’t want to regret that later.

Reminds me of another song: Slow down, you’re moving too fast. You’ve got to make the morning last. Just kicking down the cobblestones. Looking around and feeling groovy!

I’m going to rethink how I use my time. Won’t you join me?

Thankful today for:

42. less coughing in the house

43. an anticipated horseback ride on the beach

44. phone calls from distant friends

Follow the Leader

“So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can’t see what’s right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books” (2 Peter 1:5-9 MSG).

Some people think that once they have “asked Jesus into their heart,” that they’re done with their part of the bargain. They’re “saved” now and have that fire insurance. They think that’s all they needed to do.

Maybe that’s why so many people are turned off by Christianity: Christians don’t act much like Jesus.

Remember the childhood fame “Follow the Leader”? You had to do exactly what the leader was doing. Go where they went; hold your arms like they did; skip if they skipped. Do what they did. Act like they acted.

What a great idea. Let’s follow our Leader. I bet if we do, others will want to join us.

Today I’m thankful for:

39: a 3-day weekend

40: a son who likes to help cook

41: an approaching anniversary getaway with my love