Clean Living

This is my friend Carlton. He lives near where we’re working this week, so David and I visited him when we had some free time this afternoon. He turned 99 in February. He was married for 55 years until his wife died in 1994. He has followed Jesus for 35 years.

He worked as an accountant.
He never went to college.
He’s made a quilt.
He writes poetry.

He was diagnosed years ago with macular degeneration, but after praying with his pastor and others, Carlton experienced healing. He woke up one morning and said, “I can see! I can see!”

Carlton and his wife had three children. One son died at 14 days, another in his 40s from a brain tumor. He has a daughter and two granddaughters. He and his wife basically raised one of them.

Four years ago, that granddaughter asked Carlton to pay the interest on a loan, which was $250 a month. He couldn’t do it. It was too much for him financially. That granddaughter hasn’t talked to him since.

He says he forgave her. But she holds onto the grudge.

Carlton is a sweet, generous, humble servant of Jesus. This granddaughter has broken his heart.

Carlton prays for our family everyday. God has given him 99 years and a clear mind. Some might attribute his longevity to clean living: he would attribute it to a clean heart.

Thankful today for:
191. A short drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway
192. God’s Spirit moving around the world
193. My friend Carlton

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

I really need to have a conversation with Jan. And Monique, I’ve hardly spoken to her since she had her baby–two years ago, was it? And Laura? I can’t even remember the last time I saw her. And Maureen. And Erin, And Shari. And Juanita. And Maria.

These are my neighbors. We live on a small Cul-de-sac. I know all their names. But, boy, have I been neglecting these relationships. We wave and say hi, but that’s been about it.

It’s not like the cold winter has kept us inside our houses. I think the average temperature this winter was 75, or something like that. I may be exaggerating, but you get the point. It’s not been the cold weather; it’s been my cold heart.

Most are older than I and don’t have kids the same age as mine. And they haven’t exactly made overtures to talk to me either. Why do I always have to be the one to do the initiating?

Maybe because I’m the one who supposedly walks with Jesus. I’m the one who knows the importance of community. I’m the one whose church is right across the street, for crying out loud!

My kids have sold them all coupon books in fundraisers over the years. They’ve knocked on their doors to ask them questions for a survey during their community unit in first grade. All three kids, the same questions, a few years apart. No one ever complained.

My dog has run through their yard.

The last time I spent any significant time with any neighbor was when three of us had to go to juvenile court to testify against a boy who had broken into one of the neighbor’s cars. It was me, and two of the husbands. I had to go because I took pictures of the perp, even though David saw him first.

But I spent a couple of hours talking to them while we waited for our case to come up on the docket. It was a great conversation where I learned a lot about them.

That was in August.

Seven months ago.

Who goes that long without talking to a neighbor?

I’m frustrated with myself. Things simply must change. Spring is right around the corner.

I’ve got some cleaning to do.

Thankful today for:
114. My neighbors
115. A waning fever
116. My bike, that hopefully I will get on and ride today

Thoughts on Turning 50

I’d been thinking and dreaming about my 50th birthday for a year. I knew it was coming (of course), but I really wasn’t too thrilled about it. I hang out with a lot of younger women. Sometimes, they make me feel really old. Most of the time, though, I just like hanging out with them.

50 just sounded so . . . old.

I’m the third one of my siblings to make that step, and they seemed to survive it. So, after tossing around the idea of just having a small group of close friends join me in celebrating this momentous occasion, I decided to blow it out. You only turn 50 once, after all. And I hadn’t had a birthday party in many years. My last one was a surprise for my 30th.

 My husband, David, took my guest list and emailed them all, hired my good friend Laura, cake maker extraordinaire, to make a lovely red-velvet cake with the words “50 is the new 30″ on it, and we prayed for good weather.

Then the doubts crept in: Would anyone want to come? Seeing as how my birthday is 5 days after Christmas, would anyone be in town? Would they be bored? Please, God, don’t let them be bored.

Soon, the replies started coming in: if they were in town, they wanted to come.

Two days before the big day, we scrubbed the pool deck, cleaned the house, and hit Sam’s Club for the goodies. When the day finally arrived, the weather was perfect, we floated candles in the pool, set up a chocolate fountain, laid out the fare (smoked salmon, cheese logs, pigs in a blanket, mini-quiche and more) and waited for the first guests to arrive. I had made up a “Steph-trivia” quiz, posted around the house newsworthy facts of the year I was born and found a wonderful “Hits of the 60s and 70s” Pandora station that we kept on throughout the day. The songs made me smile.

But more so, the 50 guests (yes, if my counting was right, there were exactly 50 people there) who filled our home made me smile. Only downside was that I hadn’t appointed anyone as the photographer for the evening, so I have only a couple of shots of the event. But it’s there in my memory forever. And the thought that kept running through my head as the guests kept coming was this: “You like me. You really like me!”

Maybe turning 50 isn’t so bad after all. Not when you’re surrounded by such good friends.

Thankful today for:

111. a decaf skinny black and white iced mocha from Starbucks’

112. daylight savings time

113. a fun event to look forward to

Sisters From Other Mothers

I didn’t want to miss a day, but it’s late (and even later with the approaching time change), so this will be brief. We just got in from enjoying a birthday dinner at Kobe Japanese Steakhouse for my wonderful friend Alyson. The food was really, really good, but I would have gone to McDonald’s (and I hate McDonald’s) to celebrate her.

I live far away from my two sisters, so the daily blessing of being in their lives is missing (although better after the advent of Facebook). But with my friend Alyson, and a couple of others in my life, I have sister-like relationships that I depend on for that emotional connection.

We take care of each other’s kids, we plan vacations together, we text, we chat, we have fun, we share our hearts. We are sisters from other mothers. And they, along with my blood sisters, mean the world to me.

Thankful today for:

96. birthday celebrations

97. Alyson

98. my sisters

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I spent my day taking 10 second graders to Ponce Inlet Lighthouse, about an hour and a half drive from Orlando. I’m not a big Valentine’s Day person, but I did buy them little heart cookies to have with their lunches at the lighthouse.

But for the last 20 years or so, there has been a group of us that has gone to dinner right around Valentine’s Day. This group has seen the birth of 9 children and the marriage of one. We’ve talked by cell phone from the restaurant of choice to one couple who moved to Thailand for two years. I was in labor with our second child one year. Had him the next day. We’ve never missed a year.

Jim and Carol have the oldest kids–the one who got married is theirs. David and I had our first “date” babysitting their kids. Carol convinced me to not give up on David when he was being a bozo.

Joel and Marjorie are like family to us. I’ve know Joel since my college days, and he and David used to live together. He was in our wedding and both of us were in theirs. Our kids call them Aunty Marjorie and Uncle Joel.

Greg and Jill have been our good friends for a long, long time. Greg used to be David’s boss. Now he’s one of our pastors. Jill is one of my best friends. She was Morgan’s teacher in first grade. Greg helped David tile our house. David helped Greg reroof his. Can’t get any more friendly than that!

David and Karen are the newest to our group. They filled the gap when Joel and Marjorie were in Thailand. They are friends we can always count on and enjoy spending time with.

This is our group minus David and Karen--before Joel and Marjorie went to Thailand.

It is a joy to have such good friends. Many people have only a couple of people they can count as close as family. We are blessed with these four couples–and many others who have come along into our lives after we started our dinner tradition.

We don’t have a date yet for this year, because the other David has been traveling overseas. He returns tomorrow. I expect we’ll be able to set a date for next week. The day doesn’t really matter. It’s whom you’re with.

I love these guys!
Happy Valentine’s Day!

More to be thankful for:

22. Take-out Chinese food for dinner

23. Wifi service at the Centra Care clinic

24. Modern medicine