Tag Archive | anniversary

Missing My Mom

fullsizeoutput_395Yesterday, August 2, was the 11th anniversary of my mom’s death.

11 years.

Pancreatic cancer took her when she was just 73 years old. Way too young.

But cancer does that, doesn’t it?

My dad had passed away from a heart attack just 16 months before, so now my siblings and I were orphans.

I wasn’t there when my mom breathed her last. My family and I had plane tickets to go see her just a few days later, but she was on the other side of the country, so nothing was 101_0249going to happen quickly. My two sisters and my brother were all there, though.

They got me on the phone in her hospital room and put the phone to her ear. I could hear her heavy breathing. I told her not to wait 6-22-03_1for us. It was OK. She could go. We would be alright.

I tear up even now writing those words.103_349

It wasn’t long after that and she was gone.

No more care packages in the mail for whatever reason. Or no reason.

No more phone calls just to see how we were.

101_0250She would miss Morgan’s first day of kindergarten. Justin’s first job. Nathan starting college. Weddings, babies, graduations. Her great grandchildren, whom she would have adored.

Miss you, Mom. It’s not the same without you.


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The Promise

23 years. 8401 days. 3 miscarried babies. 3 born babies. 2 dogs, 2 cats, numerous fish, 3 hermit crabs and a bird. 8 vehicles. 2 apartments—one in California, one in Florida. 2 houses. Too many bikes to count. 1 husband. Together, beating the odds.

I’m glad I keep a journal, because I have written recordsc0079bb1f of so much that’s gone on in those 8401 days. 34 days before that count started, though, I wrote about what I thought the promises were that I’d be making that March 2nd day 23 years ago. Here’s what I said:

“The main thing I think I’m committing to is knowing him better than anybody else, and always being there to help make him the best that he can be. I’m promising to search out his innermost thoughts, and to listen carefully. I’m promising to point out his rough spots and to help sand them down, and to polish up his bright spots so they show up even better. I’m promising to let him know that I love him even when it may seem to him that no one else does. I will be his shelter. I’m promising to provide a home for him that is a haven, one he will be loathe to leave and anxious to get back to. I’m promising to reveal myself to him as I do to no one else. To let him point out the rough spots in me that no one else is able or willing to. I’m promising to let him take care of me and thus encourage that nurturing, caring, providing, leading attitude that comes from knowing you are really and truly needed. I’m promising to be the church to his Jesus. And it’s not going to be easy. But it’s going to be worth it.”IMG_3260

Happy anniversary, Hunny. It has definitely not been easy, but it has most definitely been worth it. Here’s to many, many more.

How Do I Love Thee?

sc0079bb1fToday is my 22nd anniversary. Seems like such a short time ago that I was writing about my 21st anniversary. My, how time flies. I have a wonderful husband who loves me more than I ever thought anyone would love me. Here’s 22 reasons I love him, too.

1. He’s a man after God’s own heart

2. He likes to hang out with his family

3. He’s really smart

4. I never have to worry about where he is or what he’s doing

5. He’s handsome

6. He, without hesitation, took in his mother nearly 4 years ago when his parents separated

7. He doesn’t hold onto a grudge

8. He’s a hard worker

9. He sends me sappy lyrics from country songs

10. He has a servant’s heart

11. He’s not a complainer

12. He cares about keeping up his health

13. He lets us have pets even though he doesn’t like them

14. He puts up with the messiness of life without nagging

15. He puts up with me 🙂

16. He’s musical

17. He’s funny (though he says I never laugh at his jokes)

18. He’s generous

19. He’s a great dad

20. He likes to bake

21. He’s loyal

22. He loves me!

I could go on, but I wanted to share 22 things on our 22nd anniversary. I love you, David Reeves, and I’m so glad we’re doing this thing called life together.

It’s My Anniversary!

21 years ago, in Oakland, California, I married my best friend. No, really. We were friends before we ever started dating, and I think that’s why we get along so well now. We really, truly, honestly like to be with each other. That’s the way it should be. Happy anniversary, David. You’re the BEST.

This was taken before we were even officially dating. I think it was December of 1989. Either that, or just after we started dating, in January 1990.

This was in April or May of 1990, just before we got engaged (unbeknownst to me). We were in San Francisco.

Our engagement picture, taken at Cru Headquarters in San Bernardino, Calif. August, 1990.

The Marriage Mystery

In 25 days, David and I will celebrate 21 years of marriage. I can honestly say that, while not easy in the sense that we don’t have to work at it, it’s always been good.

Neither of us had great examples. My dad found it hard to give a compliment, though I think he would have done anything for my mom. And though they were both dedicated church goers, my siblings and I were not brought up to honor the Word of God. But they stayed married, for better or for worse.

David’s parents separated after 48 years of marriage,.

So, David and I are pretty determined to doing everything we can to make our marriage great. We’ve read multitudes of books. We’ve been to marriage conferences and, though I selfishly fought it for years, we saw a marriage counselor about 5 years ago. 

Best move we ever made. It wasn’t that we were in really bad shape, but there were some attitudes and barriers that we just couldn’t overcome without some professional advice. Reading today in Ephesians 5:33, I am reminded that I need to do whatever I can to make my marriage great not only because it’s the right thing to do, but because David and I are a reflection of Christ and the Church. How we live our married lives is a picture to the world of the mystery that is Christ and the Church. I want to be a master painter of that work of art.