Tag Archive | husbands

How Do I Love Thee?

sc0079bb1fToday is my 22nd anniversary. Seems like such a short time ago that I was writing about my 21st anniversary. My, how time flies. I have a wonderful husband who loves me more than I ever thought anyone would love me. Here’s 22 reasons I love him, too.

1. He’s a man after God’s own heart

2. He likes to hang out with his family

3. He’s really smart

4. I never have to worry about where he is or what he’s doing

5. He’s handsome

6. He, without hesitation, took in his mother nearly 4 years ago when his parents separated

7. He doesn’t hold onto a grudge

8. He’s a hard worker

9. He sends me sappy lyrics from country songs

10. He has a servant’s heart

11. He’s not a complainer

12. He cares about keeping up his health

13. He lets us have pets even though he doesn’t like them

14. He puts up with the messiness of life without nagging

15. He puts up with me ūüôā

16. He’s musical

17. He’s funny (though he says I never laugh at his jokes)

18. He’s generous

19. He’s a great dad

20. He likes to bake

21. He’s loyal

22. He loves me!

I could go on, but I wanted to share 22 things on our 22nd anniversary. I love you, David Reeves, and I’m so glad we’re doing this thing called life together.

Husband, Handlebars, Horses and Honest-to-Goodness Southern Seafood

David and I spent 2+ days in Fernandina Beach/Amelia Island for our anniversary. The days for me centered on four things: my husband, of course; handlebars (for alliteration purposes) of our tandem bicycle, on which we traveled many a mile; horses, which we rode down the beach via a stable called Kelly Seahorse Ranch; and lots of yummy, honest-to-goodness Southern seafood.

Husband:¬†David is a really great guy. Of course, why else would I have married him? Not for his money, that’s for sure. We’re poor missionaries and don’t see that lifestyle ending anytime soon. He’s handsome, funny, caring. He’s a great dad–even by his 15-year-old’s estimation. That’s saying a lot. When his parents separated three years ago, he didn’t hesitate one bit in opening our home to his mom, even though it makes our eventual “empty nest” not so empty. He’s often putting others’ needs and desires above his own: the fact that we have any pets at all is testimony to that.

Handlebars: Many years ago, on a trip to South Africa, David and I came across a tandem bicycle for sale in a bicycle shop. Turns out, there’s a Peugeot bike factory in South Africa, so the cost was way cheaper than we could have gotten one for here in the States. Since then, we have enjoyed many hours as a tandem twosome. This trip was no different. Though we only had two full days, we spent several hours of that on our bike, enjoying a ride on the beach, through Fort Clinch State Park and along AIA in Fernandina Beach. David’s passion is cycling, and I enjoy it, too, so this was a fun activity for us both. We’ve had that bike longer than we’ve had kids!

Horses: Something I’ve always loved, for as long as I can remember, is horses I still hope to be able to get one some day, but that looks like another one of those dreams that’s going to stay just that: a dream. So when David asked me what i wanted to do and where I wanted to go for this getaway, my first response was, “I want to ride horses on the beach.” So I googled “horseback riding on the beach, Florida,”¬†and got a hit for Kelly Seahorse Ranch.

This wasn't the actual horse I rode. My horse was named "Blaze" and was a wonderful russet color. But he wasn't out yet when we were allowed to take photos before the ride. This guy's pretty handsome himself, though.

This ranch offers the only on-beach horseback ride in the area, and possibly even the U.S. We had a great time with 3 other couples and 3 guides riding about 6 miles along the coastline on Amelia Island. David had been on a horse only once before, and that was just barely, and I only get to ride once every couple of years. Oh, how I would love to make it a regular event. Morgan, my 9-year-old, just started taking riding lessons, and I find myself envious at every lesson, wanting to join in. Ah well. Maybe someday. Thanks for the memories, Blaze.

Honest-to-goodness Southern Seafood: I didn’t take any food pictures, sorry to say, but we have so far enjoyed crab cakes, vegetables Southern style, which means squash casserole, broccoli rice casserole, cheese grits, ¬†at a place called Barbara Jean’s, and dinner at the Marina Seafood Restaurant, where there was a live music event going on. As soon as I get this posted, we’re going to go have brunch at a place called Bright Mornings Caf√©. I love eating out!

But soon we’re headed back to reality. School, work, cooking and cleaning await us. But so do our kids. Days away are a wonderful thing, but our reality isn’t so bad either.

Forgot to post my thankfulness list yesterday, so I’ll double up today:

72. anniversaries

73. my tandem bike

74. perfect weather

75. my texting girl who just randomly pops in to say “hey.”

76. someone else doing the cooking

77. our comfortable van

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

re¬∑spect¬†‚Äā[ri-spekt]

noun

1. a particular, detail, or point (usually preceded by in ): to differ in some respect.
2. relation or reference: inquiries with respect to a route.
3. esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality orability: I have great respect for her judgment.
4.¬†deference¬†to¬†a¬†right,¬†privilege,¬†privileged¬†position,¬†or someone¬†or¬†something¬†considered¬†to¬†have¬†certain rights¬†or¬†privileges;¬†proper¬†acceptance¬†or¬†courtesy; acknowledgment:¬†respect¬†for¬†a¬†suspect’s¬†right¬†to¬†counsel; to¬†show¬†respect¬†for¬†the¬†flag;¬†respect¬†for¬†the¬†elderly.
5. the condition of being esteemed or honored: to be held in respect.

Several years ago, my sister gave me a book titled Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. Its truths are simple, yet profound. If I, as a wife, respect my husband, then he will, in turn, be more prone to love me. And the opposite is true: if I feel loved by my husband, then I am more likely to show him respect. The question is: With whom does it start? The answer? Me.

OK. So, you might ask, how do I show respect? A friend of mine shared the other day one of the ways she does it: When her husband mentions something that he’d like to do, like watch Christmas movies together as a family, she doesn’t then come up with 10 logistical reasons why that might not work. She makes it work. It’s the little things that make him realize that his opinions are valued, and what he wants counts.

The other day, my husband told me that he wanted to get rid of all the different-sized plastic plates that we have in our cabinets. They don’t all fit nicely together in the dishwasher, and it bothered him. I could have easily just blown that off and not acted on it, knowing that he wouldn’t make a big deal about it. But how hard was it for me to go to our cupboard, pull out the mismatched plastic, leaving the nicer, matching melamine bowls and plates, and put some in the giveaway bag and some in the camping box? While I was at it, I got rid of a bunch of plastic cups we really don’t need to use anymore also.

Such a little thing; such a big statement.

What if you have a free Saturday and your husband wants to go on a bike ride, but you really just wanted to stay in and watch a movie? How about saying, “Sure, we can go on a bike ride. And do you think after that we might be able to fit in a movie?” How much more willing and happy is he to do what you want to do, when ¬†you have so happily and willingly done what he wants to do also?

I’m not a marriage expert, but I’ve been married 20 years and 359 days, so I think I have gained a little bit of insight in that time. My husband’s a strong man, but he’s also a little boy who’s just looking for approval. It is within my power to provide that approval. I can scoff at his suggestions, or I can see what I can do about making it happen. I’m looking for the little things now, every day.

He is worthy of respect, and I am privileged to give it to him.

It’s easy to say, if your marriage is happy and healthy. What if you haven’t felt loved by your husband in a long time? I would challenge you to start showing him respect in the small ways. See what happens. The movie “Fireproof” included in it something called the “Love Dare.” That dare was to do something out of the ordinary and nice for your spouse every day for 40 days. In the same way, whether you feel like it or not, whether your spouse responds appropriately or not, take 40 days and do something that shows respect. Husbands, do something that shows love. (And, by the way, speak HER love language, not your own. See Gary Chapman’s book¬†The Five Love Languages¬†if you need some help.)

It’ll make a big difference if you stick to it. I have a great marriage, but I’m going to take that dare myself anyway. I’ll let you know how it goes.

I’d love to hear how it goes for you, too.

Thankful today for:

I missed yesterday, so I’ll start with

48. a warm breeze blowing through my house

49. the weekend

50. Bunco with the girls tonight

51. the sound of windchimes

52. health

53. my bread maker, which is going to be put into use soon