Tag Archive | Valentine’s Day

I See You

IMG_7606This morning, I noticed this cryptic message on my desk. I would normally attribute this kind of message to my husband, as we have been known to hide a small flyer with the Geico eyes on a stack of money in each other’s underwear drawer. But he says he didn’t do it. Must have been one of my kids. Perhaps fans of stalker movies would be unnerved by such a thing, but my mind immediately went to the movie “Avatar,” which came out in 2009.

The premise is that a group of ugly Americans bent on mining a precious ore from the planet Pandora send in a specialized team to try to talk the indigenous people, the Na’vis, into moving away from the area where this substance is most concentrated. If they don’t leave, the company plans on wiping them out. Problem is, this place is where their central spiritual life lives. It’s a bit more complicated than that, but, in a nugget, “avatars,” or beings made to resemble the Na’vis, are controlled remotely by an amazing scientific process of a sort of mind control. Anyway, a crippled former Marine gets the job of an avatar guard for a team studying the planet for research reasons, gets separated from his team, and ends up falling in love with one of the Na’vi women. In the process, he agrees to infiltrate the people and try to convince them to move. What he learns changes his mind. They cannot be moved, and should not be moved, and the wealth-aquiring aspirations of the mining company are really evil. (Check out this link if you want to know more.)

OK, so, what does that have to do with seeing? Well, instead of saying, “I love you,” Jake, the former Marine, and Neytiri, the Na’vi woman he loves, say “I see you.” It goes deeper than just saying, “Oh yeah, there you are.” It means I know you. I am a student of you. I am invested in learning your soul.

I recently read a really great article by Dr. Kelly Flanagan (see “Why One Text Message is More Romantic Than a Hundred Valentine’s Cards) about how something one loves is something one searches for when it’s missing. It’s called “object permanence” and babies learn that as they grow. That’s why “peek-a-boo” works with babies. Now you see it. Now you don’t. When you show up again, the child is thrilled. But if you take something a baby is enjoying away from them, they won’t go and look for it; they simply assume it doesn’t exist anymore. Eventually, they learn that it’s still around somewhere, and if they want it, they need to find it.

Dr. Flanagan asserts that letting your significant other know that you’re thinking about them throughout the day is more a sign of how much you love them than the most extravagant of gifts. A text message saying “I’m thinking of you”¬†once a day can do more for your relationship than a dozen roses once a year. When you’re not there, I’m searching for you. When we’re not together, a part of me is missing. When I’m with you, I really see who you are. I see into your soul.

More than 20 years ago I heard a wonderful sermon by one of my favorite pastors, Chuck Swindoll. It was titled “Love, Sweet Love” and it contained the ABC’s of what love does: I Accept you as you are; I Believe that you are valuable; I Care when you hurt; I Desire what is best for you and I Erase all offenses.

I see you.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I spent my day taking 10 second graders to Ponce Inlet Lighthouse, about an hour and a half drive from Orlando. I’m not a big Valentine’s Day person, but I did buy them little heart cookies to have with their lunches at the lighthouse.

But for the last 20 years or so, there has been a group of us that has gone to dinner right around Valentine’s Day. This group has seen the birth of 9 children and the marriage of one. We’ve talked by cell phone from the restaurant of choice to one couple who moved to Thailand for two years. I was in labor with our second child one year. Had him the next day. We’ve never missed a year.

Jim and Carol have the oldest kids–the one who got married is theirs. David and I had our first “date” babysitting their kids. Carol convinced me to not give up on David when he was being a bozo.

Joel and Marjorie are like family to us. I’ve know Joel since my college days, and he and David used to live together. He was in our wedding and both of us were in theirs. Our kids call them Aunty Marjorie and Uncle Joel.

Greg and Jill have been our good friends for a long, long time. Greg used to be David’s boss. Now he’s one of our pastors. Jill is one of my best friends. She was Morgan’s teacher in first grade. Greg helped David tile our house. David helped Greg reroof his. Can’t get any more friendly than that!

David and Karen are the newest to our group. They filled the gap when Joel and Marjorie were in Thailand. They are friends we can always count on and enjoy spending time with.

This is our group minus David and Karen--before Joel and Marjorie went to Thailand.

It is a joy to have such good friends. Many people have only a couple of people they can count as close as family. We are blessed with these four couples–and many others who have come along into our lives after we started our dinner tradition.

We don’t have a date yet for this year, because the other David has been traveling overseas. He returns tomorrow. I expect we’ll be able to set a date for next week. The day doesn’t really matter. It’s whom you’re with.

I love these guys!
Happy Valentine’s Day!

More to be thankful for:

22. Take-out Chinese food for dinner

23. Wifi service at the Centra Care clinic

24. Modern medicine